So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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