I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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