Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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