I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize