im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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