Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
