i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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