Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
