Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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