R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
