I cannot find my penis.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
