if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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