Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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