Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
