Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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