Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize