Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
