the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
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I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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