already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
