Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
