I just pynch a tree in the face
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
