my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
