11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she woke up with a sticky ear
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
