O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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