He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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