I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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