i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
After last night, I could never be a politician.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
