I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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