Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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