last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
