Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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