the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The beer is more important than you right now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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