you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
two words: eviction party
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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