just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
