so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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