your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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