she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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