hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
