On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
