Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
