Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
