I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
