yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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