it hurts more in the daytime
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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