Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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