i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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