peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
