I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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