I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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