Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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