i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this will be a night to untag.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
