Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize