he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
