I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
