I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
