Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
