Sry I called you an 8
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
