Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
