You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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