I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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