worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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