I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
